Nice Kitty?
by FanNotANerd
Summary: It turns out that cats take about as kindly to wolves as they do to dogs. Link finds this out the hard way.


**Oddly enough, I came up with this idea while I was wrestling a piece of steak from my uptight bitch of a cat. Whatever.**

Link walked through Castle Town with a slight spring in his step, whistling lightly. He had plenty to be happy about.

First of all, Fyer was busy fixing the giant cannon, which gave Link three days to kill. For the first time, Link actually had an excuse to goof off and let the weight of responsibility slide from his shoulders.

Second, he'd recently snagged himself another Poe's Soul while coming into the city. The damn thing had come out of nowhere, and Link had received a nice gash on his side for his trouble, but the ghost was dead, and his Poe Soul count was up to an even twenty.

That was enough to free Javoni from his cursed form, although in Links opinion, the greedy bastard probably deserved it. Still, he couldn't just leave him. People made of gold probably got hungry too.

As he walked into Javoni's front yard, the cats that always hung around there ran over to him and began twining around his legs. Link's mouth twisted slightly in distaste as he saw his legs quickly become covered in cat hair.

Then one of the smaller ones looked up at him and meowed, and his frown broke into a radiant smile.

Link reached down and stroked the ginger cat, scratching it lightly behind the ears.

Finally, he straightened up and walked over to the house. He tried the door. Locked. Great.

Link knocked on the door twice before remembering that Javoni was kind of…frozen. He wasn't exactly in any position to come to the door.

Sighing, Link looked around the yard. Maybe Javoni was the type to leave a key under the doormat, or something. After a couple minutes of searching, Link gave up, frustrated.

He walked back to the center of the yard, ignoring the cats competing for his attention. Against his will, his eyes were drawn to that same ginger cat from before, who was now batting at a small orange ball.

Link chuckled. Cute. Just then, his eyes fell on a patch of loose dirt at the base of the wall. _Of course!_

Link snapped his fingers as he remembered what Javoni had told him. The rain had washed out the soil from the wall, and he could probably dig his way in.

Link grinned, looking around quickly. However fun it was to run around Castle Town as a wolf and freak everyone out, having someone see him would lead to questions he couldn't really answer.

Seeing nobody, he walked back into the yard. The cats ignored him, their attention momentarily drawn by a small mouse that had run past.

"Wolf me," he muttered to Midna. Moments later, he felt his bones begin to shift and change shape, and that irritating itch as fur sprouted from his skin.

He turned toward the divot in the wall, intending to dig under it, but stopped. Maybe the cats would have something interesting to say.

Turning away from the wall, Link sauntered over to the cats. He approached the small ginger one. "Hi," he yipped hesitantly.

The cat jumped, spinning around to face the grinning wolf. Instead of replying, though, it arched its back, hissed, and smacked Link in the face with a paw.

Link yelped and jumped backwards. "Hey! What was that for?"

The cat, in a full fury now, leapt at his face, its claws leaving painful scratches in his skin. Link shook his head in a vain attempt to dislodge the cat, but his attempts only enraged it more. Just then, the cat lunged forward and bit him on the cheek.

"Ow! Fuck!" Link yelped, finally shaking the cat off. He pawed at his face, trying to somehow rub out the pain.

He looked up. The rest of the cats had heard the commotion and now were staring directly at him. "Could you please go and talk some sense into Ginger over-" Link started.

Before he could finish, the cats all dashed forward and fell upon Link in a whirling cyclone of teeth, claws and fur. Link yelped and yipped as he was scratched in a dozen places at once.

Losing his temper, he swatted one of the cats away from his face. It landed awkwardly, one leg crumpling underneath it. Link immediately felt bad about it. He stepped forward. "You okay?" he asked.

In response, the cat ran forward and fastened its jaws on Link's front leg, sinking its teeth to the bone. Link screamed, or at least came as close to screaming as a wolf could, thrashing wildly. "Ow! Ow! Fuck, fuck, _FUCK!"_

He shook the cat loose, just in time for another to send a claw directly into his right nostril. "Aw, dammit!" he yelled, swatting the cat away. "Leave me the fuck alone!"

Hissing and spitting, the cats just came back, attacking Link from all angles. One bit Link's tail and held on. Link looked back, and tried to shake his tail loose. The cat bit down harder, glaring malevolently and growling.

For Link, this was the last straw. "Let go of my fucking tail!" he howled, whirling in a circle. If one ignored the cat hanging grimly onto his tail and the other cats slicing him to ribbons, he would look like a dog chasing his tail.

Desperate, Link spun as fast as he could, knocking the cats back and dislodging the last one from his tail. Whining in pain, he spun and frantically dug at the loose dirt under the wall. Just before he sank into the dirt, the cats darted in and delivered some final hits to his unprotected rump.

Link finally surfaced a sorry sight. One ear had a small chunk missing from it, he was covered in dirt, and bleeding from dozens of small cuts. The cats had also torn hunks of his fur out, leaving him partially bald in some spots.

Link laid down and panted for a moment, tongue lolling out. It didn't matter. He was safe now. If necessary, he could just escape through the sewers again.

"Doggie?"

Link looked up. Javoni had seen him, it seemed. "Did you get the Poe Souls for me, doggie?" The hope in his voice was so obvious it was sad.

Wordlessly, Link released the twenty fragments of Javoni's soul. A moment later, there was a blinding flash of light.

When it cleared, Link stared at Javoni in shock. He was still made of gold, although mobile. His cat opened its eyes and stretched, as if waking from a long and refreshing nap. At least _it_ was normal flesh and blood again.

Javoni's emerald eyes fastened on Link. "Hey, doggie, are you all right? You look like something attacked you."

But Link wasn't listening. His eyes were focused on the cat, who was staring at him. As Link watched, the cat's eyes narrowed. A low growl rose in its throat.

_Oh, crap,_ Link thought. _Not again. _"Nice kitty..."

With a loud screech, the cat dove on him.

**And yeah, cats can growl. Quite malevolently, too.**


End file.
